I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
