Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
