Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
