I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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