hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So vagazzling was a success
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
