So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
