I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
