honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
