It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
