dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
