If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize