Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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