I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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