none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
