his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Your penis caused this!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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