so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
