so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my being single is dangerous.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
