Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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