that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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