whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
