Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize