this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
