No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
