the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
