If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
