I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
