how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
