Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry pie6 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.

Fav 19 4746 1752
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am

Fav 4 1224 2764
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

Fav 30 3624 1103
share tweet
(818): View more from California

He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.

Fav 9 986 2827
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

Fav 4 885 1577
share tweet
(940): View more from Texas

I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

Fav 15 2491 1219
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?

Fav 8 1753 727
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions

Fav 0 43 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work

Fav 0 27 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT