no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
