Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
