did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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