My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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