Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My life is pants optional.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
