i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
