relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
MIDGETS
????
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
