did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
