let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
