Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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