This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
