i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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