Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
