think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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