Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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