I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize