Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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