I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
