Just cropdusted the office
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
