he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
