i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
