your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
