): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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