Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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