I never want to see another naked old woman again.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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