If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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