I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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