You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
