he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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