How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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