Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She said her name was "party"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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