we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
