Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
