You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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