Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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