Can i not drive my cunt home
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
