I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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