Just fell off a train. Bad.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
