Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize