he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The beer is more important than you right now.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize