I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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