He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
