are you so shy because you have an std?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
