I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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