escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my shit smells like andre
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
