i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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