and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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