I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
