also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize