so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
