I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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