if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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