the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
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