that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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