DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize