Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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