Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
