she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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