How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
